TOLERATIONS: Want to Get Your Energy Back? Eliminate What You Tolerate

One of the most valuable things I learned from my very first coach was the concept of tolerations.

Tolerations are all the little things we put up with every day. They annoy us, bother us, and aggravate us, but we keep overlooking them because we're busy. And let's face it, women are usually taking care of everyone else's needs before they take care of their own, right?

I remember the first time I tackled tolerations.

My coach asked me to make a list of everything I was tolerating.

Everything.

At first, I couldn't think of much. Then the floodgates opened.

My first list included:

• a worn-out welcome mat at the front door

• weeds in the garden

• a cluttered garage

• a messy desktop

• a jewelry drawer that was completely disorganized

• my favorite coat with a button that was hanging on by a thread.

Then, later I went back and included a few more things:

• a loose shingle on the garage

• 5,000+ emails in the inbox

• a phone filled with family photos that needed to be organized

None of these things were major problems.

But together? They were stressful.

Every time I noticed one, it created a tiny little irritation. Alone, they didn't seem like a big deal. But when you add dozens of little annoyances together, they start to weigh on you. You feel stressed, overwhelmed, tired, and unmotivated.

I hear a lot of people talking about being dysregulated and learning how to regulate the nervous system. While I think there is tremendous value in understanding our emotions and managing stress, I've also found something surprisingly simple can help:

ELIMINATE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN TAUGHT TO TOLERATE.

Once I had the list of the things that were irritating me, it was easy to see that fixing them would take very little effort, time and money.

Every time I crossed one of them off the list, I felt a little happier, stronger, and more calm.

you fix something that's been bothering you, you remove one more source of irritation from your life. And when enough of those little irritations disappear, you feel lighter, calmer, and more at ease.

One of the things I do with clients on retreats is ask them to make their own tolerations list. And let me tell you, it's fascinating to watch. Women write and write and write.

• The lamp that needs a new bulb.

• The pile of papers on the kitchen counter.

• The closet that's overflowing.

• The doctor appointment they've been meaning to schedule.

• The project that's been sitting unfinished for months.

• The friendship that's become more work than joy.

Once they get started, they realize just how many things they've been putting up with.

The good news?

Many of these things can be fixed quickly.

→ Pull the weeds.

→ Sew the button.

→ Organize the drawer.

→ Schedule the appointment.

→ Deliver the donations to the charity.

→ Start cleaning the garage one corner at a time.

Every time you eliminate a toleration, you'll gain back a little bit of energy.

✔️ You feel a little lighter.

✔️ A little calmer.

✔️ A little more in control.

There is something incredibly satisfying about driving your car into a clean garage. Walking up to a front door with beautiful flowers and a fresh welcome mat. Opening a drawer and finding exactly what you're looking for.

Those things may seem small, but they matter.

So here's my challenge for you:

Now, start your own tolerations list. I've even put a pretty template below for you to use.

Write down every single thing that's bothering you, annoying you, frustrating you, or draining your energy.

Then start checking them off.

You don't have to do everything this week.

Just pick one.

Then another.

Then another.

Because life feels a whole lot better when you stop putting up with things that make you unhappy and start creating a life that feels good to live.

Right click, save and print this for yourself. Fill it up as often as needed.

Remember:

"You can spend your life tolerating things, or you can spend your life changing them. The choice is yours." — Beth Caldwell