The Invisible Workload of Women: When We Name It, We Can Change It

Beth Caldwell
4 days ago
2 min read

This idea of the invisible workload is something I learned about years ago when I was in a coaching group with Susan Hyatt. Ever since she painted the picture for us, I can’t unsee it. Once you become aware of the invisible workload, you start noticing it everywhere.

What is it? Invisible Workload is the physical, emotional, and mental labor that women take on that often goes unnoticed, unacknowledged, and unpaid.

Here are just a few examples:

• Remembering birthdays, buying gifts, sending thank-you cards

• Managing school schedules, medical appointments, permission slips, and family calendars

• Noticing when household items are low, or things need fixing and taking care of them without being asked

• Taking on the emotional temperature of the home or office, making sure everyone is okay, mediating conflict, smoothing tensions

And that’s just scratching the surface.

So what do we do about this?

Here’s the good news. If you’re a high-functioning, intelligent woman, and if you’re reading this I know you are, then once you’re aware of something you can change it. The same goes for men. I know many intelligent, compassionate men who genuinely want to do better. But first, they have to see what’s really going on.

A lot of this comes down to cultural conditioning and gender norms. These are not personal failings. They are simply the habits and expectations we’ve inherited. But now that we know those habits are hurting the very people we love the most, it’s time to shift.

So the next time you catch yourself:

Expecting the woman in your life to handle all of the workload at home
Saying, "just give me a list", or "tell me what you want me to do"
Thinking, "she's much better at that than me, so she should handle it"
Assuming your female colleague will take notes during the meeting or send out the follow-up email
Leaving the emotional labor of checking in or keeping the peace to the women around you

Pause.

Notice it.

And then ask: What can I do to help?

It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It just has to be intentional.

When we see each other more clearly, we can support each other more fully.

That’s how real change begins. -Beth Caldwell

#BethToldMe