Are you stuck on the escalator of life's "Shoulds"?

I’ve noticed something over the years:

Many of the women who tell me they feel stuck, resentful, overwhelmed, or exhausted are also the women riding what I call the escalator of shoulds.

You know the escalator I’m talking about.

The one that tells you:

You should be further ahead by now.

You should have more together.

You should be happier, calmer, prettier, thinner, richer, nicer…

You should be doing what everyone else your age seems to be doing.

And yet—despite following all the “shoulds”—you still feel frustrated, unfulfilled, or invisible.

If this feels familiar, it makes complete sense. Most of us were conditioned (by school, church, family, culture, and media) to believe that life is a competition. That our worth is measured by how much we can achieve, earn, or endure compared to the women around us. We’re taught that this escalator leads to happiness and fulfillment.

But the truth?

It leads to burnout, resentment, and the relentless lie of never enough.

I know, because I’ve been there.

There came a point in my life when I had to make painful, uncomfortable changes.

I stepped off the escalator, and not everyone liked it.

I lost friends.

I was judged.

I was criticized.

My feelings were hurt more times than I can count.

And in the beginning, I even tried shrinking myself again to make others more comfortable.

But here’s what I finally learned:

Staying small to make other people feel safe is a slow form of self-abandonment.

And we deserve better than that.

If you are feeling stuck, frustrated, or trapped in comparison mode, I want you to hear this clearly:

You can change this.

Your life is not meant to be lived according to someone else’s checklist.

Here are the exact steps that helped me reclaim my joy, clarity, and direction:

How to Step Off the Escalator of “Shoulds”

 Do more of what brings you joy—regularly, not just on special ocassions or holidays.

For me, that’s reading, writing, creating, philanthropy, travel, and spending time with people who inspire me.

Keep learning.

Take classes, explore new interests, say yes to ideas and opportunities that stretch your mind and spirit.

Surround yourself with people who believe in your potential.

Your circle matters more than you know.

Gently and intentionally step back from anything (or anyone) that consistently makes you feel like "too much" or "not enough"

Release obligations to people and projects that drain you.

Stop playing small to make other people feel more comfortable.

Remind yourself that you have a purpose here, and it's not to put everyone around you at ease.

Make a list of what you've been putting off and what you most want to experience.

Then—this part is important—schedule the first steps.

Those first steps you take will create motivation and momentum.

Keep your mind and your space clear. Remove:

• clutter

• old papers

• old commitments

• outdated thoughts

• your need to please and rescue others

• the stories that no longer serve the woman you're becoming.

Seek support from people who are living the kind of life you admire.

And resist the urge to take advice from those who aren’t. 😉

Because here’s the truth I want every woman to know:

Nothing is more painful, more draining, or more suffocating than living the life others expect of you while denying the life you were meant for.

And you?

You were meant for more.

More joy.

More courage.

More spaciousness.

More purpose.

More fun

More of yourself.

The world is waiting for your gifts.

I believe in you.

And when you’re ready to step off the escalator and step into a community of women doing the same, you’ll find lots of us are there to welcome you.

-Beth Caldwell

#bethtoldme

Beth Caldwell is a popular self-help author from the United States and the founder of Circle for Women Worldwide.

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