Are you listening? Anger is trying to send you a message

Anger gets a bad reputation — especially for women.

We’re told to calm down, be nice, let it go, be the bigger person.

But here’s the truth:

Anger is a message. Don’t avoid it.

It’s not wrong or shameful. It’s information.

Anger shows up when we’re being mistreated, ignored, or disrespected.

It’s your brain and body screaming:

“This isn’t okay.”

But anger rarely travels alone. It often brings friends:

• Disillusionment – when the people or systems we trusted have failed us.

• Helplessness – when we care deeply but feel powerless to change things.

• Resentment – when we’ve swallowed our truth one too many times.

These aren’t bad emotions. They’re indicators.

They tell us where boundaries are needed, where healing must happen, and where change is overdue.

And if you ignore them?

They’ll just get louder.

So what do you do with all that anger?

You listen to it.

Then you channel it.

Here are three ways to turn your anger into something powerful and productive:

1. Pause Before Reacting

Anger feels urgent and demands action right now. 

But reacting in the heat of the moment often leads to regret or more harm.

Give yourself space.

Breathe. Walk. Write.

Let the emotion move through your body so the message can rise to the surface.

2. Get Curious

Instead of pushing anger away, ask yourself:

• What boundary was crossed?

• What value was violated?

• What is this anger trying to protect?

Anger is a spotlight. Let it illuminate the truth.

3. Take intentional Action

Once you’ve identified what matters most, take a step in the direction of integrity.

Say the thing. Make the call. Set the boundary. Speak the truth. Start the petition.

Let your anger fuel action, not destruction.

You don't need to silence your anger. You need to understand it.

Because once you do, the message becomes clear to you.

It becomes momentum.

It becomes power.

Remember, anger doesn't mean you're broken. It means you’re tuned in. 

Your emotions are working exactly as they should. Let them guide you gently toward truth, healing, and intentional action. You don’t need to fix the world all at once. But you do deserve to honor what’s true for you. And that starts by listening.

Try This

The next time you are feeling angry, pause and consider this question.

“What is my anger trying to tell me — and what do I need next?”

Then, let the answers flow. Whether you're talking into a voice recorder, writing in a journal, or typing into your digital notepad, let your thoughts and words flow without censoring or editing. You don’t have to share it with anyone. This is just for you, a way to clear the fog and reconnect with your own wisdom.

Your emotions aren’t too much. They’re trying to lead you home.

Once you've mastered this practice, share the technique with your family and co-workers.

You never know who’s still trying to “stay calm” when what they really need is to feel heard. - Beth Caldwell

#bethtoldme

Beth Caldwell is a popular self-help author from the United States and the founder of Circle for Women Worldwide.

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